Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize