I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
