i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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