If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
