Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
