my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
