this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
