.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
