You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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