I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I want to fling myself into the sun
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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