Do vagina's smell?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
