I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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