rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize