No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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