the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
