At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The feeling are messing with the penis
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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