You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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