Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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