He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
