Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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