i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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