I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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