He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
