we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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