Whod you bang
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
