i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
they're like a gay fantastic four
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
