i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
