guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
fuck your aforementioned shoe
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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