I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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