She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
