I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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