I bet he comes in French.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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