Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
