I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize