our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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