i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
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