Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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