I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
