the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
no more duck duck goose at the bar
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize