a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Randomize
