Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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