I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize