I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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