it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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