There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
