her vagine was all disorganized.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
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Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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