Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
