do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
