people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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