1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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