Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
