We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
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