kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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