Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
