The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
3pm strippers are depressing
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
