i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
