im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
