hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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