I am puke
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
im holly from the hills drunk
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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