Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Less talking, more tequila
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
