This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
