Can Purell be used as lube?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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