Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
